But I like you.

So this showed up on my Facebook feed the other day, and the feels, they are REAL.

Not only is there an adorable drawing of a kitty cat, but it rather succinctly sums up a part of my personality that has always driven me crazy. I am quite possibly the worst person when it comes to keeping in touch, keeping tabs, keeping up appearances. It’s a handicap that could prove fatal in the world of independent publishing, too, because there’s so much emphasis on putting yourself out there, following up, so on and so forth. Does this mean I’m doomed to failure? Hopefully not. I’m getting better, though it comes in valleys and peaks…One strong week of getting out there and cavorting with my fellow writers and readers, followed by the long stretches of retreating to my own little bubble.

But I’m an outgoing brand of introvert, meaning that I really do love talking to people and engaging, but I often get overwhelmed by the interactions, and that stress drives me deeper into the mode of isolation. And I put thing off because I can’t “deal with it” at that moment, and then I feel bad for ignoring someone or something, and I feel so bad about it that I’d rather avoid dealing with it all together. So somethings fall by the wayside, and I can’t even talk to the person because I feel so bad for being the flightiest person in the world.

Definitely a conundrum. And definitely a good reason why I have to invest in an agent eventually, probably. But for now, I’m just going to tut along as best I can, try to be better, and just keep forging forward, even if I’m doing it in the complete opposite direction of effective, feeling incredible comfort in the fact that there’s at least one other person out there who understands what it feels like.

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7 thoughts on “But I like you.

  1. I can relate. I’ve been known to not be in touch with family members for 20 years–all of them. I’ve been known to not be in touch with friends for even longer. I operated for a long time on the premise that I only needed six people who didn’t think I was an SOB, because it only takes six to carry your coffin. But then I realized that if I got cremated, I only needed one. Just be yourself and you’ll always be on time.

    1. “But then I realized that if I got cremated, I only needed one.” That’s some straight up real talk right there, lol.

      I like people, I really do, but I like being by myself more, I think. Ultimately, though, you got the bottom line right: just be yourself. If that bothers people, then you’re probably better off without ’em anyway.

  2. I have a writer friend who NEVER interacts. She stays in her writing cave and writes, then she publishes. It works for her. However, that doesn’t work for everyone. I know how exhausting it is to constantly be “on”. I’ve been on vacation this week, and I popped onto FB a few times, but it was so liberating to say “I’m on vacation and don’t HAVE to do anything”. Sometimes you have to take a break. This is especially true for introverts, even those who do like interaction. Because it all gets overwhelming.

    Btw, you shouldn’t have to invest in an agent. That’s backwards. They should be investing in YOU. 🙂

    1. But how will they know to invest in me if they don’t know who I am, lol?

      I guess if there are some writers who are constantly “on” like little balls of marketing and socializing energy, and there are some who still manage without any interaction at all, then it isn’t that unlikely to strike some balance between the two (with a definite leaning toward the writing cave). I just always feel like I’m not doing enough, though, and it’s even worse when I try to do something, then flake, and then feel like I’m doing more harm than good because I’m so flighty. Sigh.

      1. That flaky stuff is normal for a write. LOL

        Concerning the agent. Authors should never pay for an agent. I would steer away from that kind of agent. Good agents generally sign up with you, promote you or shop you to publishers, and take a percentage. You should never pay an agent up front. Unless things have changed since the last time I read warnings about this. Just be careful.

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